HOT MESS WITH DECENT COMPOSITION
Lisbon Photos, Bad Weather, And Thoughts My Therapist Told Me To Keep To Myself
Hey you. Thanks for sticking around. I disappeared in January, and yeah, that was on purpose. I needed a mental health break, the kind where you stop pretending you’re “fine” and actually sit with the chaos for a bit. That’s also why this month’s newsletter doesn’t really have a theme. It’s a bit all over the place. Which, honestly, perfectly matched my brain at the time.
Winter 2026 in Lisbon was… brutal
Let me be dramatic for a second, because it deserves it. This winter was awful. Five storms. More than a month of nonstop rain. Cold that crawled into your bones. I’ve lived here long enough to know Lisbon winters can be moody, but this was by far the worst one I’ve experienced since moving back. I got seriously sick, couldn’t shake it for weeks, and no, it was not a cute, romantic “rainy Lisbon” situation. It was miserable.
Survival mode, activated
Because of the weather, I couldn’t go out consistently to feed the community cats. Clients? Gone. Mostly cancellations. So I spent weeks stuck at home, watching the rain fall, reloading my inbox, and watching my savings slowly evaporate. Not exactly the glamorous creative life I always thought I would be living. It was a weird mix of boredom, anxiety, and that panic that shows up when work disappears but time doesn’t.
Comfort watching like it’s therapy
Whenever things spiral like that, I fall back on comfort watches. Films and shows that feel like a blanket you’ve had for years, worn, familiar, safe. I went deep into Asian filmmakers. Films by Wong Kar-wai, Hirokazu Kore-eda, and Park Chan-wook. Slow cinema, emotional gut punches, beautiful sadness, apparently that’s my coping mechanism. I also rewatched Mad Men and somehow ended up back in Attack on Titan, because nothing says “self-care” like existential dread and the end of humanity.
What’s next (aka please let March be kinder)
The rain is finally gone. It’s still chilly out, but the sun is back, and honestly, that alone feels like progress. I’m back outside feeding the cats and live-streaming it on TikTok, which feels grounding in the best way. I’m cautiously hopeful for March. Especially financially, because your boy is broke. This winter did a number on both my mental health and my bank account. I won’t sugar-coat that. But being back on the streets, taking photos, live streaming, cats around my feet, sunlight hitting Lisbon the right way. It reminds me why I do this in the first place. I’m tired, but I'm enjoying it. And I will absolutely do it again… after a long nap.
If you’re still reading, thanks for being here. Truly. I hope the worst is behind and better days are ahead.
Gilby